I see you, momma. Hair in a messy bun (again). Haven’t showered in who knows how long. Spit up on your shirt and bags under your eyes. Some days you feel like you’re on top of the world, and other days you’re barely holding it together. If this is you, you are not alone. If this is you, you probably have a new baby.
Despite the gloomy description above, I also know your heart loves that little baby so much sometimes you feel like it could explode. There are no words that describe the joy in your spirit when that tiny person looks at you like there is no one else in the world. You are the safe place. You are the light. You are their momma.
Honestly, I wasn’t ready to be a mom. Is anyone ever really “ready”? I had no clue just how much my life was going to change. I was unaware of how much growth the Lord had in store for me. My pregnancy was tough. My newborn was tough, and as much as I loved my little boy, some days I just didn’t want to deal with it all.
But I know, and you know, they are worth it.
So, sweet new momma, as you embark on this crazy journey that is parenthood, I offer up the little wisdom I have gained from being a mom for almost four years.
Do not compare your journey with others.
This one is tough for me. I’m a perfectionist and an achiever. If I am not the best at something, I immediately feel like a failure. So, when my friend’s baby can sleep through the night at 8 weeks and my baby still wakes up at all hours, I’m devastated. Does that land with you? If so, get out of that cycle now. It only harms your mind and heart. Your baby is a unique and precious gift that you were created to take care of. You also know your baby best, so if anything seems off, your intuition will let you know. For me, I needed to take some time off of social media because the comparison game is hard to escape on Facebook and Instagram. If you find yourself obsessively wondering why your baby isn’t like someone else’s baby, I would start there.
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Galatians 1:10
Give yourself grace.
You know what? Those pre-pregnancy pants aren’t going to fit right away. Your house will not be as clean as it once was. Your drive to cook beautiful dinners may just take the backseat for a little while. And that’s o-k-a-y. Who said we had to have a baby and keep everything else in our lives perfect and pristine? Who is giving the trophies for “Fittest Mom Bod” or “Cleanest House”? Enjoy your little one. Ask for help from someone you love if you need it. Just be a mom while you still can. Everything else will get back to where it was eventually.
“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
Hebrews 4:16
Take good care of you.
After my second was born, I struggled with Postpartum Depression (PPD). My emotions were all over the place, and there were many evenings when I couldn’t stop crying. I would sob for hours. After a lot of persuasion (I’m stubborn), my husband convinced me it was time to get some help from my doctor. I’m so glad he did that because my family was a lot better off when I felt better. You have to prioritize yourself spiritually, mentally, and physically. Find those times to pray and seek the Lord even if it’s just by listening to worship music or sermons. Go for a walk in the sunshine and soak up that much-needed vitamin D. Find time to get your hair or nails done so you feel pretty. Go for coffee with a friend. Whatever you need to do, do it! You will be so very glad you took the time to love on you. Cause if anyone deserves some love right now, momma, it’s YOU!
Note from our Parenting Pathway Team: If you find yourself in a similar place as Nikki, please reach out to your doctor, family, or close friends. You can also connect with our team members from Childcare (carab@stonebriar.org) and Early Childhood (kristinl@stonebriar.org) who are ready to help.
