The Beauty in a Long Marriage
Dennis and June Brady began their marriage adventure on a snowy Saturday in January of 1965. Over the past 55 years of marriage, they have lived a full life, raising two children and now being blessed with three grandchildren. We asked them to share their story with us and the insights they have learned in their life together. As we sat down to talk, it was the little things that showed their enduring love for each other, starting with when June patted Dennis on the knee as they settled into the couch, took a deep breath, and began to share their insights and experience in love, parenting, and marriage.
Q: How did you two meet? Was it love at first sight?
JB: Dennis was singing in the choir at a Baptist Church in Tupelo, Mississippi. He had seen me around church, but we had not met. We were introduced in the choir room of all places. In fact, our first date was attending a choir party. Dennis had a great voice and sang in a quartet. I loved to hear him sing at churches in the area.
DB: I knew when I met her that June was all of the things I had pictured in the person I wanted to spend my life with. She was smart, she was good looking, and she had a heart for Christ. It did take June a while to decide to get serious about me, (Dennis laughs) and we dated for a couple of years before she would agree to marry me.
Q: Has church always been a major factor in your lives?
JB: I grew up in a northern baptist church in Illinois not too far from Petersburg. We went to church Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday. Church was always part of my life, and my faith was important to me.
DB: I grew up as a preacher’s kid of a southern baptist pastor who served in the ministry for more than 50 years. I was probably in church the week after I was born. I went to Oklahoma Baptist University and then went to work for the convention right out of college. My faith in Christ has always been a big part of my life.
Q: What is your favorite memory of your wedding?
JB: Beside the fact that it snowed that day, I remembered when Dennis surprised me and sang the song “I’ll Walk with God” and changed the words to “We”:
We’ll walk with God
From this day on.
His helping hand we’ll lean upon.
This is my prayer, my humble plea:
May the Lord be ever with us.
There was not a dry eye in the audience, and to this day when I think about that song or hear it, I am reminded of how special that was.
Q: What do you think is the secret to a long marriage?
DB: Don’t go to bed mad at each other. (Dennis draws a long and measured breath as he answers and offers this advice without presumption or preaching, but with the tone of a man who has invested long hours to understand his beloved’s heart.) If you are upset about something, talk it out before the day ends. I will get upset about something and be over it by the next day, but June can hold onto it for a long time. We found we needed to talk it out right away.
JB: We always made the bed together every day. (June says this with a twinkle in her eye and confidence that Dennis is right by her side in all things big and small.) That sounds weird, but by doing that, it reminded us to share everything. We both did the housework, we both worked full time, we both raised the kids together. In fact, today we need to go home and make the bed together.
DB: We have always made big decisions together. (June looks at Dennis with peaceful look on her face. There is no competition here; they work together in all things.) Whether we were moving across the country or buying something expensive, we always talked it through and made the decision together.
JB: We enjoy being together, and for the most part we enjoy the same things, except golf. (There is a mutually shared laugh.) We have always felt that God gave us a house, and our responsibility was to share it. We really enjoy entertaining together. Dennis is a great cook, and opening our home has been important to us.
DB: We make each other laugh, and we always have. (As they banter back and forth, they excitedly fill in each other’s thoughts and sentences.) Her sense of humor was one of the things that drew me to her. Life is long and has lots of challenges, so you need to be able to laugh. Now we laugh about getting old together, and where she left the keys to the car.
Q: What were your biggest struggles, and how did you overcome them?
DB: I had an opportunity for a big promotion, but it required us to move to Pennsylvania. The kids were 15 and 10 at the time, and June was settled into her teaching career. It was not an easy decision. Pennsylvania was such a different culture than Mississippi, where we had been living. We took a family trip to check it out. All weekend, we flipped back and forth. Before leaving town, I sat the family down, said we had a big decision to make, and gave everyone a piece of paper. I asked them to write yes or no on it. When I collected papers, I had three yeses. I was so touched that my family was willing to make such a sacrifice for me and our family’s future.
JB: Although moving there was one of the hardest things we have ever done, it was great for our family. It knit us together. All we had was the four of us. We didn’t have the money to go home for holidays or take family vacations, but we spent more time together and learned to depend on each other.
DB: One of our first Christmases in Pennsylvania, we didn’t have the money to go home for Christmas. I found a deal at Oglebay, West Virginia. It was a beautiful place with a lodge and snow-covered mountains and thousands of sparkly lights. We spent such a special Christmas there. It is one of my most favorite memories.
Q: For the last year, Dennis, you have been fighting a rare form of thyroid cancer. Watching you guys, it seems you have handled it well, but what was that really like?
DB: (Again, Dennis pauses and draws in a deep breath. He and the Lord have spent a lot of time talking about this in prayer.) I have always believed that God would not give me more than I can handle. And for most of my life, that has been true, but this one was harder. There were days I wondered what God was doing and why this was happening. It’s not in my nature to worry. I have an analogy:
Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair. You can sit in that chair and rock for hours, but at the end, you are going to be in the same place.
JB: (June’s answer comes both with a fire to protect the man she loves from this challenge but also with a vulnerability that all she can do is be by his side.) I am a worrier, and I always want a solution. When the doctors came to us after surgery and said they had never seen anything like Dennis’ tumor, and they weren’t sure what to do, I was so upset. I felt a doctor should know what to do. Dennis has always been a great balance for me. When my hard-driving personality has gone too far, he reminds me to settle down.
DB: There was nothing to do but have a positive attitude and proceed through the treatment. There have been good days and days when I have been really sick. I can just do the best I can do with each day God gives me.
Q: You guys have raised two successful children, and your family is still close. What was your secret?
JB: We set a high standard for our kids from the beginning. There was always the understanding that they would go to college. We made decisions with that goal always in mind.
DB: When my son was a teenager, I sat him down and told him, “I completely trust you and want to give you the freedom to do what you want, but don’t lie to me. If I ever catch you lying to me, your world will change and be significantly different.” He knew I was serious. When I would ask him about what he did last night or who he was with, I would say, “Now, before you answer, I probably know the answer already.” Most of the time, I already knew what he was doing, but he never knew if I did, but it was enough to encourage him to talk honestly. His friends would be so mad about him always telling me everything, but he would tell them he had to. Because we have that foundation of honesty, it has allowed us to have a good relationship.
JB: At our son’s wedding, he shared that Dennis was not only his dad, but his best friend.
As we wrapped up our interview, June made one last statement that has been sinking deep into my heart ever since. As she looked at Dennis, she said… “I’m not sure why God smiled on me so many years ago, but I am glad He did.”
Thank you, Dennis and June, for sharing your story with us, encouraging us, and being a model of what it looks like to do life together.
Blessings to you.
