Love that Lasts a Lifetime

I am a sucker for a good love story, and I admire couples who have weathered the test of time. I always want to know the secret of couples who have love that lasts a lifetime. One such couple is Chuck and Cynthia Swindoll. He is the Senior Pastor of our sponsoring church, Stonebriar Community Church, and serves as chairman of the board. His wife, Cynthia, serves as president and chief executive officer of Insight for Living Ministries. Here, Chuck shares the secret that has helped them travel life together for all these years.

Where They Started

The two met while he was singing in a small evangelistic group near Houston, Texas. The group needed a piano player, so Cynthia joined. Chuck explains that, “It was love at first sight. I went with her for a week before I proposed. I had to wait that long to be sure!” They were married a year-and-a-half after they met, June 1955.¹

What Is Their Secret

For years, I have started nearly every day the same way. My wife, Cynthia, and I get up at 5:00 a.m. We have done this for so long that we don’t need an alarm clock, no matter what time we went to bed. First thing, one of us turns on the coffeepot that I prepared the night before. Then we make up our bed together, giving the coffee time to brew. When it’s ready, we pour two large cups and clean the coffeepot. Then we head for our favorite, comfortable chairs in our family room and begin our day.

We spend a good, solid hour plus talking about everything on each of our hearts—our children and grandchildren, our extended families, our agendas for the day, and the challenges and joys of our church ministries and Insight for Living Ministries. That includes heartaches that must be addressed, as well as tremendous blessings from both having outstanding staff. Sometimes we laugh—roaring, spontaneous laughter. Many, many other times, we cry with very broken hearts. Always, we listen. Sometimes, we pray. Each time, we pull from God’s Word thoughts, wisdom, comfort, and challenges for change and direction.

We’ve made this our habit almost every day—except when I was serving as a Marine on Okinawa, when our four kids were young, and now as our home overflows with grandchildren and great-grandchildren, months when our work calendars haven’t had a blank line to spare, and when we experienced exhausting seasons when one of us has had to be in the hospital. Even when our ministry has taken us to the other side of the world, Cynthia has written on our packing list: “insulated coffee cups, instant coffee, cinnamon, sugar, and Coffee-mate®.” She even packs a little appliance for heating up the water, so we never have an excuse not to spend that precious time together!

Our love affair with God’s Word didn’t begin when we got married. The Bible was honored and taught in our childhood homes. The truths of Scripture had already begun drawing us in when we met as teenagers. Cynthia was 16, and I was 19 when we had our first date. A week later, we became engaged! Immediately, we started attending two Bible studies a week. The wisdom of the Word captivated us.

But I didn’t have a systematic, trustworthy approach to studying the Scriptures, and I wasn’t reaping the benefits of consistency. That began to change in June of 1955 when the girl of my dreams looked me in the eyes and said, “I do.” The two of us knew little about life, much less marriage. We just knew that we loved each other and couldn’t bear the thought of spending the rest of our years with anyone else.

So, we married young. We grew up together. Year by year, we also grew closer to one another and to the Lord.

That didn’t just happen. People don’t marry young and end up more deeply in love 63 years later by accident, and people don’t grow close to the Lord simply by becoming Christians. Both happened because we intentionally set aside time to be with each other and with the Lord. We still do to this day.

More than six decades of marriage have taught us that you can’t be lazy about investing in each other. That’s true of any relationship you want to flourish. Opening up and sharing takes time and hard work. Listening, really listening, is even harder. (The Swindolls aren’t known for being quiet!)2

You can read more insights on the Insight For Living website article: Anniversaries.