Our Lives Are Changed by Our Foster Care Journey

Within a week of being foster care certified, we had agreed to take a placement. We knew that the phone calls would come immediately but still could not help feeling overwhelmed at all the phone calls and information we were receiving about each case. Our foster son was in need of a home while an extended family member worked to finish up the requirements to obtain custody of him. We accepted the placement and felt fairly certain he would only be with us for a short time.

He was only a couple weeks old and had some medical issues that required a lot of appointments. I called and invited his mom to join me for those first appointments so that she could have some time with him and I would have the opportunity to get to know her. Our first meeting together, I got to witness a beautiful reunion of mother and baby. In that cold, public waiting room, I watched as she picked him up and he immediately recognized her voice, smell, and touch and fell into a peaceful sleep on her chest. Through our time together at each appointment over the following weeks, I had the opportunity to ask her questions and learn about her life, and I also allowed her get to know me. I wanted to ease her fears about her baby being in the care of strangers. Those visits were also a wonderful reminder to me that the purpose of foster care is for reunification of family. We were not in foster care to keep our foster son away from his mom and family but to provide him a safe home, security, love, and a chance to bond and grow while his parents worked to reunify with him in the future.

We got involved in foster care after we had the opportunity to see, first-hand, families walk through foster care and adoption in the church we attended when we first moved to Southern California. Our eyes were open to the huge need in California for foster parents and the large number of kids waiting in foster care at any time for a placement. We also saw how it was a beautiful example of our own adoption through Jesus.

In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.

Ephesians 1:5, NASB

Through foster care, we also saw a way that we could tangibly work out the biblical mandate to care for those in need.

“Learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphans, and plead for the widow.”

Isaiah 1:17, NASB

Foster care can be very difficult at times. There are seasons of uncertainty and times when the tasks required feel immense. There were seasons of frequent meetings, appointments, paperwork, driving back and forth for assessments, family visits, home visits, and way too much time spent on the phone advocating for the needs of our foster son. As time passed, it also became difficult to deal with the unknown future of our foster son and his potential departure from our home and our lives. While loving him as our own, we were at the same time encouraging his family in their pursuit to reunify with him. The fear of losing him was so great, but our desire for him to start off his life in stable, safe home surrounded with love was worth the risk on our end. During those difficult seasons, I looked to:

  • our foster community who could relate to our experience.
  • time in the Word to reorient my heart and mind to the will of God.
  • friends that would sit with me while I shared my hopes and fears.
Love this smiley face!!
May is National Foster Care Month

It has been almost three years now, and our foster son is still in our home. We have experienced moments when we were told he would leave us. There have been moments where we were told he would be staying. It is becoming clearer that we will be his forever family. While that fills us with joy and excitement to make permanent what we already feel, we are painfully aware of how much hurt and pain that will cause his biological family. We continue to pray that the Lord will bring healing in his family. It is our hope for a future opportunity to allow our foster son to build a relationship with his biological family as he grows up.

Our lives have been changed by our foster care journey, and we pray for continued involvement in foster care for many years to come.

If you are currently a family caring for foster children or are considering a call to this very special ministry in some way, we would like to walk with you, encourage you, and support your journey.  Please connect with us at parentingpathwayblog@stonebriar.org or through our church website: stonebriar.org.

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