Seven Ways to Get Ahead of Holiday Stress

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

We are two weeks away from Thanksgiving and six weeks from Christmas.  I can feel the tension building. My to-do list is longer this week than last week. My grocery bill is higher this week as I start to gather supplies for upcoming meals and events. Our list of activities and events seems endless, and our time and resources seem to be in short supply.  I am feeling anxious as I try to plan the perfect Thanksgiving dinner and the most memorable family Christmas.  I am not alone in this pursuit, and my desire to have traditions and memories that leave a mark of love on my family are not unique. But the pressure most of us put on ourselves and our family to participate in the perfect holiday is enough to swamp the deck of even the most emotionally healthy person.

According to a survey by the American Psychological Association, 38 percent of people said their stress level increases during the holidays. Another survey, by the investment firm Principal Financial Group, revealed that 53 percent of people feel financially stressed by holiday spending.

There is an opportunity to change the tide and have a different experience this year. Here are seven ways to get ahead of the stress as the holidays approach.

1. Decided NOW what to say YES to and what to say NO to. There are more concerts, tree lighting events, craft fairs, and office parties than anyone can attend. All the activities on your holiday schedule are not equally important. We recommend you spend a couple hours planning to attend those events that are special and bring meaning to you and your family. Some activities won’t make the list this year, but they could return in future years.  Rotating some events and activities from year to year helps to keep them fresh and keep your kids interested.
2. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends, and other activities. Although you don’t have to strictly adhere to the schedule, it helps your family know the general plan, and most children feel less stressed when they know what to expect.
3. Limit the number of nights your family is away from home. It is so important that your family has time to rest, restore, and reflect on the season.  If you are running from place to place all season long, you will miss those opportunities to be still and spend time together.  An evening spent eating pizza and watching classic Christmas movies as a family can be significantly more memorable then attending the crowded town Christmas Tree Lighting extravaganza.
4. Take care of yourself and your family. As much as possible, don’t abandon your health and wellness routines. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, and listen to your body. You will know when your kids are tired or you are feeling run down.  Pay attention to those signals and use them as reminders to slow down and re-prioritize.
5. Set a budget. This one seems to be the hardest for most people. Overspending throughout the holidays not only creates stress while you’re doing it but continues when the credit card and bank statements arrive in January. As a family, make a realistic budget early for gifts, food, and entertainment. Plan for a periodic review to make sure you are sticking to your budget, and make adjustments as needed.
6. Reign in expectations. Help your children set realistic expectations for gifts, activities, friends, and family. We have talked about concepts around managing expectations several times in this forum, but Kelley Wilkinson wrote an excellent blog about helping your children size their expectations: Reigning in Your Child’s Christmas Expectations.
   
7. Prioritize celebrating the real meaning of Christmas. Your family can participate in a traditional Advent celebration, follow a Jesse Tree plan, read and act out the Christmas story from the Gospel of Luke, and so on. The ways you can ground your Christmas in truth are endless. Remind yourself and your family to come back to why we celebrate Christmas in the first place.

Don’t let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps now to prevent the stress and anxiousness that can descend during the holidays. Learn to recognize your holiday triggers and the triggers of your family so you can respond before a meltdown. Those triggers can be financial pressures or personal demands, too much sugar or too many late nights. For me, it is too much noise and chaos, which after years of handling badly, I have learned that I need a little alone time every day.

We want to offer you a Christmas blessing that reminds us of the true meaning of Christmas.

Dear Lord, don’t let us miss You this Christmas season. Help us to simplify our activities and traditions so we can focus our celebration on Your birth. Thank You for being the Prince of Peace, and I ask You for that supernatural peace to reign in our hearts. Thank You for the simple but life-changing message of Your love for us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.¹
Melanie Chitwood