The Value of a Mentor to Our Kids

Parenting PathwayThe more time we spend with kids and their parents, the more we have become convinced that all our kids are desperate for mentors in their lives. The ability for our kids talk to someone they trust and you trust, but is not you, is so important and life-giving to them. You can say something to your kids 1,000 times, but it usually takes someone else saying the same thing for them to hear it.  Here at Parenting Pathway, we always end each podcast episode with the phrase, “Don’t do life and don’t do parenting alone.” The power of someone beside you, pointing your kids to Christ, is overwhelming. This week on our Parenting Pathway Podcast, Family Ministries Pastor Dave Carl and Care Ministries Pastor Steve Fischer discuss the importance of mentorship in our lives and the lives of our children. The Value of a Mentor To Our Kids, Part 1

Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the Word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.

Hebrews 13:7

What is a mentor?

A mentor trains their mentee in intimacy with Christ. A mentor’s role is not to validate their ego and create a clone of themselves, but to help the mentee see themselves as they are in Christ. God has a plan for the mentee’s life, and the mentor’s role is to shepherd the growth of that plan.

It is a common human hunger to desire to have someone in our lives who guides us, points us to Christ, and intentionally leans into our lives. A mentor can be the answer we are looking for.

Eugene Peterson claims there are only two skills necessary to unselfconsciously mentor another:

  • Unknowing: Catechesis is not required, and a leisurely pause before mystery is. Instead of pretending to know every answer, the mentor can stop and ask of every situation, “Where is God’s hand at work in this?”
  • Uncaring: Sometimes, the mentor must get out of the way and allow the Holy Spirit to do the caring. There are moments when what the Spirit is doing in the other person far exceeds what the mentor can do.

What qualities should we look for in a mentor?

D – Dependence on God: A mentor should show their dependence on God for guidance and direction, and should point their mentee in the the same direction.

I – Intentional: A mentor should be international and purposeful about spending time with their mentee.

V – Vulnerable: A mentor needs to be vulnerable and willing to share their life experiences that have meaning and have led to their personal growth.

I – Introspective: A mentor has to know themselves, in order to share themselves with their mentee in an authentic capacity.

N – Nearness: A mentor needs to be physically present. Life is often most intimately shared over a plate of scrambled eggs, a good burger, or a walk around the lake.

E – Enthusiasm: A mentor needs to be excited about exploring and sharing their life with Christ and with their mentee.

If you don’t know where or how to begin in finding a mentor, the first step is to pray that God will show you someone to walk alongside you and your children. The community that is around you in your church or your community group, as well as Christian friends and family members, are the best places to start. Next, listen to Part 2, The Value of a Mentor To Our Kids, Part 2, next week to gain more insight into the next steps.

Additional Resources:

  • Deep Mentoring: Guiding Others on Their Leadership Journey, by Randy D. Reese  (Author), Robert Loane (Author), Eugene Peterson (Foreword)
  • Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys by Stephen James and David Thomas
  • Raising Worry Free Girls by Sissy Goff
Additional Parenting Pathway Podcast episodes on this topic include:

Mentoring and Modeling Approach to Parenting Boys

Mentoring and Modeling Approach to Parenting Girls

Authors

  • Dave Carl is the Family Ministries Pastor at Stonebriar Community Church and is responsible for the ministry focusing on children birth through high school graduation and the parents who love them. With a ministry philosophy based on Luke 10:27, his primary focus is to give parents the skills to raise kids who truly love Jesus and want to serve others. Dave has a passion for ministering to families in crisis in our community. He has spent several years pouring into fathers and husbands and helping them learn that they need community, were designed to guard and protect, and that they really can be the spiritual leaders of their family.

    Dave and his wife of 30 plus years, Cathy, have two adult children and one in college and grandparents to three amazing children. They are completely in love with these new member of their family. Dave is an avid woodworker and loves to write. He sees all stories in the form of pictures, and he would love to connect with you!

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  • Steve Fischer

    As Stonebriar Community Church's Lead Pastor of Care Ministries, Steve serves on a team that provides hope and for those who are broken, discouraged, and hurting.

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