What Is the Point of Thanksgiving?

It hurt my heart a little bit when, a couple weeks ago, my teenager declared… “Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday. I don’t see the point. All we do is hang out, watch football, and eat a big meal I don’t even like.” It was like shooting a dagger through my heart and pointing out where my parenting missed the boat, again.

So as I step back and recalibrate, I want to rethink, What is the point of Thanksgiving?

“It’s one thing to be grateful. It’s another to give thanks. Gratitude is what you feel. Thanksgiving is what you do.” –Tim Keller

A few years ago, I declared I was not cooking one more Thanksgiving meal. Instead, I purchased tickets and we went to the annual Dallas Cowboys Thanksgiving football game. It was a fun day of activity and family togetherness. My husband even found “Thanksgiving Dinner Hot Pockets“. It was a weird concoction of turkey, green beans, stuffing,  and cranberries all wrapped in pastry with brown gravy for dipping. (gross!) While we had broken the mold on our normal routine, we had not come any closer to the heart of Thanksgiving.

In 1863, at the height of the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln made a proclamation entreating all Americans to ask God to “commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife” and to “heal the wounds of the nation.” It was then that he declared Thanksgiving a national holiday, set at that time for the final Thursday in November1. So it seems that our modern day Thanksgiving should have a high purpose and a more noble message than just a big meal and family gatherings.

So in regrouping, I am planning to take another run at my disillusioned teenager…

Preserving the Spirit of Thanksgiving

1. As Christians, we are instructed to “give thanks.”

There are more than 140 Scripture references2 in the Old and New Testaments instructing us to give thanks. In our 30 Days of Thankfulness Calendar, we have returned to 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 to offer daily prompts for discussing gratitude. Taking time each day to step back and reflect on God’s presence in your life and your family is the first step in resetting the expectation of Thanksgiving.

Rejoice always,  pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

2. Make the day about more than a meal.

Approach the days leading up to Thanksgiving as a way of giving back to your community, removing the focus from ourselves, and looking for ways we can serve those in our families and neighborhoods. Is there a local homeless shelter that needs help serving on Thanksgiving? Is there a neighbor who has lost someone this year, or an elderly family member who can’t get out easily, or a family from school going through a tough period? Think of someone you can serve together. Shining light on those around you expands all of our understanding of God’s presence in our own lives.

“A thankful heart is one of the primary identifying characteristics of a believer. It stands in stark contrast to pride, selfishness, and worry. And it helps fortify the believer’s trust in the Lord and reliance of His provision, even in the toughest times. No matter how choppy the seas become, a believer’s heart is buoyed by constant praise and gratefulness to the Lord.” –John MacArthur

3. Try new things.

In my push for traditionalism, I missed the fact that 90% of my family does not like the traditional Thanksgiving meal. Not to mention that no one enjoys watching mom slave in the kitchen all day.  While I am not willing to go all the way to lasagna for dinner, I am willing to reconsider our approach to the rhythm of the day.  Maybe we have family join us for a more casual meal and family games, maybe we eat later after football games, or maybe we try brunch. I don’t want to give away the opportunity to gather at the table and give thanks, but I am willing rethink how we do it.

As I have been healing the wound to my pride, I am more aware than ever that the imprint I want to leave on my teenager is not necessarily the tradition of “what we do, ” but the tradition of the “heart with which we do it.” I have this Rick Warren quote printed on a memory board in my kitchen as a regular reminder of God’s presence in our lives and how we are meant to respond to Him in every situation:

  1. “Thanksgiving 2021”. 2021. HISTORY. https://www.history.com/topics/thanksgiving/history-of-thanksgiving.
  2. “What Does The Bible Say About Thanksgiving?”. 2021. Stillfaith.com. https://stillfaith.com/topics/thanksgiving/.

Author

  • Christine Clark

    Christine Clark is the Ministry Leader for Family Ministries at Stonebriar Community Church. She has a passion for supporting parents and helping them gain confidence and tools to be spiritual leaders in their homes. She is blessed to be the mom of a one son and the wife of her college sweetheart for 25 years. She and her husband are finding their way as empty nesters, and enjoying the new found freedom that comes with this stage of life. She is also an avid sports fan who loves all things NASCAR and football, especially in the fall in Texas.

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