Autumn is undoubtedly my favorite time of year.
Every year, as the fall season descends, pumpkin spice suddenly appears everywhere. Texans get to wear jackets for ten minutes in the morning before the temperature rises back to 80 degrees. Much to the chagrin of my husband and children, come autumn, the Hallmark channel is on more often as well. I mean, come on—they made a whole movie about pumpkin pie wars.
Fall has also become a metaphor for our family of the external black hole that attempts to consume our lives once we leave the house each day. It seems like the calendar is bloated to the hilt with activities, as is the list of priorities that must daily be evaluated. It can make even the most flexible of women feel like Gumby, being stretched in every direction by forces wanting to pull her away from the home.
Such forces are so powerful that, these days, to say no and prioritize homemaking efforts will earn you incredulous looks instead of applause. In other words, sacrificing certain things for the sake of your home tends to be regarded with the same level of repugnance as stirring sour milk into your pumpkin spice latte. Ambitions achieved outside of the home tend to receive enthusiastic responses, but pursuits of domestic functionality do not. Thus Christian women find themselves in the crosshairs of culture.
Going a step further, the word “homemaker” does not exactly have an overwhelmingly positive connotation in society. However, whether women have the opportunity to stay home with their children, work outside the home, have family or hired individuals assist in their homemaking (such as the Proverbs 31 woman and her maidservants), or are single, or are the mother of adult children, establishing a godly home is an intrinsically unique endeavor with infinite impact on others.
Paul addressed the issue in his exhortation to Titus:
“Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives.”
Titus 2:1-6, The Message
As Paul reminded us, being a homemaker, or “keeping a good house,” is an important role within the Christian dynamic for women. This does not mean trying to be perfect. After all, Jesus gently corrected Martha when she was more focused on household logistics rather than just being with Him. It means recognizing that we are given the crucial responsibility of setting the tone for our household and anyone who lives in it or visits it.
The Bible gives us some great examples of women who used their positions at home for the betterment of others. Esther had a gentle, winsome presence and sensitivity to God’s timing within her home-okay, gigantic palace-that allowed her to approach King Xerxes to beseech him to save the Jewish people. Abigail was a whip smart and discerning woman who literally stopped David from murdering her husband with her wise homemaking skills (the lady had her hands full with Nabal’s antics, whipped up delicious snacks for an irate David and his men, and delivered a speech with eloquence and poise to spare. Respect).
Let’s be honest as well, the home environment seems to have ebbs and flows of good days and not so good days. I call those “face plant” days. However, consistent and intentional sacrifices of investment in the home yield priceless dividends upon which this fallen world does not, and will not, bestow accolades.
To illustrate, CEOs of companies know that their businesses must be attended to internally, or else they will be stunted moving forward. Much as they weigh out the value of expending their time on things that take them away from their companies, we must discern what we say “yes” to outside of our home, aka our headquarters. These are sacrifices that are not always easy to make, but they make all the difference.
Time spent cultivating a calm, happy, and thriving home is worth it. No matter what season of life we’re in, whether single, married with children, or an empty nester, the art of homemaking is a sacred one. Creating a great home environment, and saying no to those things that would diminish it, remains a constant and ongoing effort.
“It takes wisdom to build a house, and understanding to set it on a firm foundation.”
Proverbs 24:3, The Message
