Apologetics for Little Ones

Anyone else extremely non-confrontational? Do the hairs on your arms raise when you observe the body language of people who aren’t getting along? Avoiding disagreements is one of my specialties. My husband, on the other hand, loves healthy confrontation. He is phenomenal at listening, not getting offended when his position is attacked, and lovingly responding to the heart of the disagreement.

As Christians, it is important for us to know how to approach disagreements in a healthy way, not only in our closest relationships, but especially as we interact with those who do not share our beliefs. At some point in our lives (and our kids’ lives), we will encounter people who feel truly attacked and hated by Christians who have had no training in lovingly sharing their beliefs. How can we prepare ourselves to share the truth in love? How can we raise our children to stand up for their faith in a sinful culture while seeking the heart of God’s beloved people who misunderstand them?

Enter the study of apologetics.

What is Apologetics?

The simplest definition I have seen for what may come off as a confusing word (what are we apologizing for?) is the defense of the Christian faith using reasoning. The word apologetics is derived from the term apologia which means “as a legal defense”.¹ I’ve seen apologetics used to quench doubts of a believer and to rock the shaky foundation of a skeptic. At the end of the day, apologetics must be seen as a tool for reaching the hearts of the lost, not for winning arguments to feed our own egos.

The great news is that anyone can study apologetics to be more well-versed in their faith! You can watch great debates between leading Christian apologists and well-known atheists. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable as you see arguments being dismantled and truth winning out. The goal is to learn how to have a healthy disagreement while loving the person on the other side of the fence.

Why do I need to start teaching this to my kids now?

According to Julie Loos in Mama Bear Apologetics, “The youth exodus refers to the percentage of Christian youth who stop attending church… Most studies indicate between 45%-48% of youth leave church after their freshman year in college and never return.”² Whether we see it or not, the world and culture around us are actively looking to “train up” our children in their own world-views. If you don’t give your kids the tools they need to defend themselves, they will fall prey to what the enemy is telling them is “good because it feels good”. You love your babies, so fight for their love of truth as if their lives depend on it!

Three Ways to Practice Apologetics In Your Home

1. Start teaching biblical discernment.

One of the ways I have witnessed us as parents in the Church fail our little ones is by over-protecting them from the world. Is there an appropriate age to have certain discussions? Of course. Am I saying you should load all the world’s burdens onto your preschooler? Absolutely not. What I AM saying is that little by little, we need to teach our kids how to find the good and the bad in what is being presented to them.

For example, we love movies at our house. Snuggling on the couch and watching a nostalgic movie with my two little boys curled up next to me is a memory I will hold on to when I’m old and gray. Meanwhile, though, I am aware that there will be ideas presented in most movies that don’t align with what the Bible says. Instead of screaming bloody murder and turning off the TV, I can turn these moments into conversations that allow my boys to discern the information for themselves.

The questions can look like this: “That character said he knew his mom was in Heaven because she was a good person. Is that what the Bible says about gaining access to Heaven?” or “That character lied to her parents to get what she wanted. How do you feel about that knowing what the Bible says?”

Hillary Morgan Ferrer calls the method “chew and spit” in her book Mama Bear Apologetics. She states, “The chew-and-spit method teaches them that most lies are wrapped in attractive packages… The best Mama Bears teach their kids how to spot danger on their own and avoid it!”³

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Romans 12:2

2. Teach theology in your home.

Yes, you! Find solid resources that allow you to teach what is TRUE so that when your children are chewing and spitting, they easily identify the truth. Some of my favorites include The Ology by Marty Machowski, ABC’s of Theology cards by Tiny Theologians, and Big Truths for Young Hearts by Bruce A. Ware. As you present the truth, also make it a point to present some “attractive lies” that they may hear to distract them from truth.

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:6

3. Equip yourself.

Diving into the world of apologetics has been one of the best things I have done for my faith. I met Jesus in college when I was being bombarded by other belief systems, world views, and faith constructs. I was in awe of a man in the middle of our campus who “debated” random college students who approached him with their complaints and questions about Christianity. He was loving, never raised his voice, and shared wisdom and logic with every breath. We need more people who love Jesus like him. I pray to be like him.

You could start by reading Mama Bear Apologetics by Hilary Morgan Ferrer and research books like it. Start your own practice of chew-and-spit with sermons, podcasts, and books. Read your Bible faithfully alongside your study so you can know truth. Learn alongside your children why we believe truth, the only truth, and why we so desperately need to share it with others.

Never forget, beloved parent, this is war. Let’s fight the good fight together and prepare our children for the battle ahead.