The Christmas holidays bring yummy food and fun with family and friends, but when there is a lot of expectation, it can leave moms feeling tired, overwhelmed, and anxious. Scripture tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything. But in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6). But this feels impossible to me. Don’t be anxious about anything? Really?
Without the fullness of Christ in me, it is impossible. Thankfully, the verse does not simply tell me don’t be anxious; it gives me an alternative. Instead of stewing in anxiety, it tells me to pray with thanksgiving about every situation. In Christ, we can face all the holiday preparations and manage our expectations with His grace in mind.
I’ve heard it said—Holidays are holidays. And traditions are traditions. But holidays are not traditions. Traditions are great ways to celebrate and honor the season, but we don’t have to continue Christmas traditions that leave us broke, overwhelmed, or tired. Sometimes, we have to go along with the traditions that are set before us when we’re visiting family over the holidays, but when we’re in our own homes with our kids or grandkids, we get to work together to make Christmas meaningful in our own unique way.
Here are a few suggestions to help you approach holiday traditions with less stress and more joy.
1. Pray as you prep.
Pray for spiritual nourishment while you bake and cook for the upcoming festivities. As you wrap presents, pray for that person to see Jesus more fully this holiday. Keep Jesus as the central focus of it all. Also, make sure that you are not taking on more than is required of you. Ask the Lord what He wants you to do, and let go of any traditions or expectations that are stealing your joy. We can’t set Jesus aside even when things get busy. We need to take time to sit quietly with Him in solitude in the middle of our daily tasks.
2. Choose traditions wisely and hold them loosely.
If a tradition is not enhancing our family’s enjoyment of Christmas, there is no reason to continue it. And there’s no shame or guilt if we skip a year or end it all together. As Romans 8:1 tells us, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.”
My kids do not like to go look at Christmas lights, so when I plan this “festive activity” and gather everyone to “wonder at the lights,” we end up driving around grumpy kids that can’t see on the other side of the car and are not amused. I have since scrapped that from our list of traditions. Maybe in future years they might enjoy it and we can circle back to this activity, but for now, it’s not for us, and that’s okay.
3. Decide what really matters to your family, and don’t be afraid to make big changes.
A SunTrust holiday survey found that nearly 7 in 10 Americans (69%) said they would skip exchanging gifts this holiday season if their friends and family agreed to it. A majority of those who spend time buying or making gifts (60%) said they would spend more time with friends and family if they didn’t have to worry about gifts. Check with your family to see what is really important to them. Be willing to change as your family members grow up, grow old, and change their perspective.
4. Give up the guilt.
No comparison needed—do what you love and what matters for your family. Social media constantly shows me all the fun traditions of other families that I don’t do. The typical Christmas bucket list exhausts me just reading it. I’m not a great baker, so making homemade Christmas cookies and decorating them is not something I enjoy or that I’m good at. I can feel guilty that I’m not making that memory with my kids, or I can buy break and bake cookies and snuggle with kids on the couch while watching a Christmas movie. Pillsbury makes fun shapes and pre-decorated cookies that my kids like just as much. And who needs to even cook them? Cookie dough is yummy too.
5. Keep the main thing the main thing.
It’s worth saying again—remember to always focus on Jesus. The Pharisees were all about traditions, so much so that they totally missed Christ. Find ways to put Jesus first. In our family, we have our kids draw names and buy presents for each other at 5Below to remind them to think of others first. We pray before we go downstairs Christmas morning to open presents. And our church puts out an amazing Advent devotional or activity book every year.
Christ at the Center
Traditions can be great. They can help ground us and add unique memories to our family holidays. But the key is to keep Christ at the center, and pray over how you choose to spend your time and effort. Every year, pause and evaluate whether you’re driving yourself nuts trying to serve the tradition, or if the tradition is really serving you and your family. You don’t have to anxiously do everything on the stock holiday bucket list. Just choose what works for you!
