by Meaghan Wall, Pastoral Leader of Special Needs & Marriage Core Leader
Marriage I remember when I was in high school and college I was always looking at the guys around me as potential dates. I wanted to date but only wanted to date Godly men who had potential for being my spouse. When I met Michael and we started dating, I remember my focus turned from finding someone to date to wondering when he was going to ask me to marry him. Once we were engaged and then married, I no longer had to worry about who I was going to date or marry so the focus turned to wondering when we were going to start having children. After our first son, Jackson, was born, I started wondering if we’d have a second. Once we had our second child, Grayson, and we knew we were not going to have any other children, I found myself wondering what to focus on next. This terrified me. You see this happened all around the time of the dreaded 7th Anniversary. You ask why I say “dreaded”, well because I’d always heard about the 7 year itch. When we had our 7 year Anniversary, a lot of our friends were having theirs as well….or should have been having theirs. Many of the couples who got married around the time we got married were no longer together. While we were celebrating our 7th Anniversary, I remember having five friends going through the divorce process. This really got me to thinking. I wondered what was in store for Michael and me. Now that we had our family, were we done? What did I need to be putting my energy behind? After all, it was way too soon to start thinking about a potential daughter-in-law.
Luckily within weeks of our 7th Anniversary, Stonebriar Community Church started a new ministry called Marriage Core. Soon after hearing what Marriage Core was, I quickly realized that I needed to be putting my energy behind my marriage. The Lord made me see that I had been neglecting the second most important relationship in my life, my marriage. (The most important relationship in my life is the one between me and the Lord.) I had been focused on all the milestones and had forgotten to invest in the covenant relationship the Lord established between Michael and me. I was blessed because Michael was in the same spot. He too was feeling like we’d put so much energy into other things we were neglecting our own relationship.
It wasn’t long after attending Marriage Core, we both realized how much we needed a place to go that focused not only on our marriage but on our individual relationships with God. Marriage Core wasn’t about fixing each other; it was about fixing ourselves in light of who God calls us to be and allowing that to spill over into our marriage. We learned that if we are both walking closely with the Lord, our marriage will be stronger and better. We also learned how to take the small struggles every marriage has (our main one being communication) and work through them in order to make our marriage stronger. No longer do we look to the past as the best years, we look to the future knowing we are growing more and more in love with the Lord and each other every day.
Click here to learn more about the MarriageCore ministry at Stonebriar Community Church.