A few months ago, I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and came a cross a meme showing a mom standing in the middle of a playroom that looked like a tornado had rolled through. There were two kiddos sitting on the floor happily playing while Mom is nicely asking them to clean up. In her thoughts, the mom is remarking that her gentle parenting is not working. I giggled to myself, liked it, and then scrolled on. Thinking about it later, I asked the Parenting Pathway Moms if this was a thing: gentle parenting? They soon sent me links to articles, blogs, books, and a few funny memes.
What is Gentle Parenting?
- According to Sarah Ockwell-Smith, author of The Gentle Parenting Book, this parenting approach can be summed up into three words: empathy, understanding, and respect. It is all about considering your child’s feelings and treating them with kindness and respect at every age. So far… a little fluffy for me, but I can be on board.
- Reflecting on how you treat your child and choosing to approach them with compassion is at the heart of this parenting style. Gentle parenting resources talk about modeling calmness and kindness, even when your child is acting less than calm or kind (a.k.a., when they are having a temper tantrum or meltdown). This seems like it might be a struggle, but I can still support this.
- When gentle parents discipline their children, their goal is to teach the child rather than punish them for their behavior. The parents’ response is meant to help children better understand how they should behave, while not exposing them to anger or physical punishment. I am starting to waffle a bit, wondering how exactly to do this?
- Gentle parenting is an approach that encourages a partnership between you and your child so your child can make choices based on an internal willingness. Okay, hang on now.
I am not sure partnering with our children is the right mindset; I believe we’re meant to be leading our children. I think most of us want to parent with compassion, understanding, and encouragement, but we should not be reluctant to discipline when necessary.
With gentle parenting, as with any approach to parenting, we would be wise to research it closely and see how well it aligns with Scripture.
What does the Bible say about parenting?
There are 1900 references in the Bible that mention parents, fathers, or mothers. We find most of these references are in dozens of stories about complicated families. It would be great if the Bible dictated a precise script for parenting our children, but there are a few key Scriptures we can hold to as we refine our approach to parenting:
1, The Bible recognizes that children are a gift and blessing from God.
“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him.”
Psalm 127:3
2. The Bible reminds us that our role as parents is to teach our children to love and live for Jesus.
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Ephesians 6:4
3. Do you recognize the idea of modeling behavior we want to develop in our children? This reminds us to model how to live according to a biblical worldview.
“In everything set them an example by doing what is good.”
Titus 2:7
4. The Bible instructs us to care for the physical and emotional needs of our children.
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
1 Timothy 5:8
5. Correcting and disciplining our children is a mark of our love for them. When we set appropriate boundaries for our children, we are telling them we love them enough to make hard decisions for them.
“Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.”
Proverbs 29:17
Thoughts from Parenting Pathway
Each family, and each child for that matter, requires their own unique approach to parenting. After all, a strong-willed child will not respond to correction the same way as a sensitive child. Gentle parenting has been recognized as a style that fosters a positive relationship with your children while still enforcing boundaries, so with discerning application, it may be a good fit for some.
Regardless of what parenting styles you choose to implement in your home, we encourage you to remember that as Christian parents, our ultimate goal is to point our children to God and model for them what it looks like to follow Jesus wholeheartedly. The Bible reminds us that our goal is to see our children become mature Christians. That is an ongoing process that requires both guidance and compassion.
How do you think gentle parenting aligns with Scripture? What are its benefits, and what might be some downfalls? We would love to hear your thoughts. Join us over in the Parenting Pathway Facebook community as we discuss all things parenting.
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”
3 John 1:4
