I had one biological dad. He was great. I miss him terribly. There have been other dads, though, who had an impact on me over the years. They were not my dad, but they were a gift. I propose this Father’s Day that we thank the dads who guided us, endured our youthfulness, and generally helped us along the road of life, even if they were not our bio dads.
The faithful leader…
In the third grade, my family started to attend Sunkist Baptist Church in Anaheim, California. Pastor Hoover preached well. He could speak German (very impressive to me as a kid), and he was what everyone wants their pastor to be–a man who loves God and cares for his flock. He baptized me and officiated at each of the weddings of my brother and two sisters. I remember noticing how his preaching cadence would change as he wound up to tell a story or a joke. There was no scandal, no drama. He was the solid, godly man everyone wants their pastor to be. He retired when I was in junior high, and he still left a mark on me, an example of what a pastor looks like. Thank you, Pastor Hoover. You left a positive mark on me.
“Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which He bought with His own blood.”
Acts 20:28
The solid, godly man…
I was in my junior high and high school years when I was around Mr. Hardy. I had a crush on Kathy Hardy, so I spent some extended time over at the Hardy house. Mr. Hardy was a solid man. I respected how he loved his wife and three kids. I respected how he served at our Baptist church. I was very grateful because I was an unusually immature kid, and they let me hang around anyway. The whole Hardy family seemed mature, solid, and safe. I felt immature around the Hardy family, and I remember not wanting to be that way. Mr. Hardy was calm, funny, and a really good example of the kind of man I wanted to become. Thank you, Mr. Hardy. You left a positive mark on me.
“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.”
1 Corinthians 16:13
The patient boss…
My next great example was Pastor John Erwin. He was the guy who hired me for my first pastor job. I became the Junior High Pastor at the Huntington Beach Evangelical Free Church in California. I had just gotten engaged to my wife when I became the part-time Junior High Pastor. John, the High School Pastor and my boss, was patient with me. He was incredibly passionate about youth ministry. I found that inspiring. He was adventurous and a whole lot of fun. We laughed a lot. His example shaped how I would do ministry going forward. He also snored like a chainsaw. I fear I have some of that now, too. Thanks, John. You left a positive mark on me.
“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”
Romans 12:12
The inspiring story-teller…
I started to work for Insight for Living in 1997, and I attended Pastor Chuck Swindoll’s church for years before that. Along with millions of people around the world, I was taught well when Chuck preached. That guy can really tell a story! And that was inspiring to me. Over the last several decades, my wife Cathy and I have been profoundly blessed and inspired by working for the Swindolls. Sure, he preaches really well, but better than that, Chuck is passionate about God–and he laughs, a lot! He is crazy about his wife and kids. He is the same in the pulpit as he is in real life. I want to be all that, too. Thanks, Chuck. You left a positive mark on me.
“Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.”
2 Timothy 4:2
The supportive father-in-law…
There are a lot of jokes about in-laws . . . how difficult and meddlesome and controlling they can be. I have none of that. In 1985, Ed Bridgeford became my father-in-law. Now early on I doubted his wisdom because, well, he allowed me to marry his daughter, Cathy. Other than that, I have never doubted his wisdom. He has always been solid and steady, and he has been devoted to Carol his wife and his three kids. I tried to copy that. He loves music a lot. He served his church a ton. He loves having family around, and he has always, his whole life long, loved God. He loves God even more these days than before. He has changed in how he pursues God over the years because he’s learned new things about the God he loves. I came to see that this is exactly what good men are supposed to do. Loving God more as you go along is the true mark of a good life. That is inspiring to me. Thanks, Dad. You left a positive mark on me.
“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”
Hebrews 13:16
… thank you.
I’ve typed these words as part personal catharsis and partly to make a point. We all need good men on our lives. They are out there, so find a few and buy them lunch. Then get to work to be that guy for someone else. Everybody needs to see an honorable man in action. It is healing and inspiring. Movies don’t typically get made about these guys anymore, so you might come to believe they are not out there. They are. Thank you, good teachers, good coaches, and good youth pastors, and thank you, men, who pursue God in ways we can see and want for ourselves. Stay at it. We need you, even if you aren’t our bio dad.
