We are in a scenario that none of us have been in before. Knowing how to operate in a crisis is a valuable skill set. There have always been novel crisis situations, and they will continue. One strategy is to try to control things so completely that bad things never occur (impossible). Or, a better strategy is to focus on getting good at being in a crisis and to see crisis the way God does. Since our kids have probably not had many chances to operate in a bona fide crisis, I’d like to offer up a thought or two on crisis management for believers in Jesus Christ.
- Don’t tell anyone that God is so good that He will make sure nothing bad will happen to us. This is not true, and it is bad theology. Yes, this statement does bring instant comfort, but when things do go badly and people get sick, parents divorce, and loved ones die, it causes a theological quagmire. If I am nine years old and my mom tells me, “God has it all under control and everything will be fine”, but then Grandma gets sick and dies, I am not okay! Either God failed to do His part, or I did something to cause this horrible thing. Bad things actually do happen to good people. It’s in the Bible. What then do we say to our kids that is both true and yet comforting?
- This world is broken. It happened in the Garden. Because of sin, we live in a world where babies get sick and die, where tsunamis destroy communities, and where innocent people get hurt—that is not God’s plan. That is the result of sin. Through Adam’s first sin and our continuing sins, we’ve made the world what it is. It grieves God terribly, but that is the world we live in. However, God can and does step into disasters and family dysfunction and economic hardship; and for those who believe in Him and follow Him, He will make even these things work out for good (Romans 8:28). But what is good?
- What God wants most is relationship. It can get lost in the shuffle, but what God wants most is for us to have a close and loving relationship with Him. He is such a good Father that He is for our good even when we are not, when we are after something less and possibly self-harming. I want to win the lottery, but He knows (at least in my case) this would be disastrous for me. God’s best for me and you and every believer is for us to abide with Him. It’s what we were created for, and it’s where we will find peace and hope and all the things we were created to need and all the things that will make us whole. God wants all that for us. He wants us to be in such a close relationship with Him that more and more we love the things He loves, and we hate the things He hates. I think of abiding as living in the arms of God and finally wanting what God wants. That is His best for us. Ironically when things go really good for a long time we tend to wander off from God. It is a part of our sin nature. We are wanderers. We forget Him, and we start going after stuff WE want, which is often in opposition to abiding with God.
Luke 5:17 tells us of a man who is paralyzed. His friends bring him to Jesus to be healed. They can’t make it through the crowds, so they dig a hole in the roof (vandalism??) and lower the paralytic down in front of Jesus. The man came with one request, “Heal my paralysis.” Jesus took care of the more important thing—his spiritual paralysis. Jesus forgave his sins. Jesus often did not answer the direct question asked of Him. He tended to answer the question that should have been asked. This is the way of a loving father. If my five-year-old boy comes to me asking for permission to go swimming, but I notice he has a significant and open wound on his knee, I will instinctively take care of the real need instead of the one the boy brought.
It is good and reasonable to pray to God for bad things to stop happening. That is what the paralytic did. By all means, ask God for deliverance. But it would also be wise to look for the things He will give us that we did not think to ask for.
What if our crises were seen as a call to intimacy? For believers, this is always true. We wander, we become self-reliant, and as a result we wander further away. Pain gets our attention. Pain can also remind us of what is true and perhaps how far we have wandered. God does not enjoy our suffering any more than a loving father enjoys the pain of his children, but He often uses pain to help us see our insufficiency so that we will run to Him like a five-year-old runs to his earthly father. It is a hard thing to get our arms around. Why would a loving father allow such suffering? Because, if we allow Him to, we can be healed from significant things we were not even aware needed healing. We can also be jarred out of patterns of thinking that have been drawing us away from God, and we can be better at receiving the love of God which is better than anything else.
Don’t tell people and especially kids that everything will “be okay.” Tell them that even though this is bad, God will use it to draw many people to Him. And if we are ready and spiritually limbered up, He can use us to alter someone’s eternity. That is the purpose of pain. God is a loving Father, and He will give us His best. It is our job to love Him for it and receive what comes. Then we get to show His love to others by caring for them through a crisis.
