Encouraging and Allowing Failure

Parenting PathwayThis week on our Parenting Pathway Podcast, Pastors Dave Carl and Nathan Kocurek are stepping into the topic of failure in our kids’ lives. The very nature of children growing is a process of failing and learning from it. Whether they are a toddler learning to walk or a teen learning to drive, each life experience requires the fine tuning of their skills. Failing is a natural part of the learning process, but allowing our kids to fail, and watching them work through the consequences of that failure, is significantly more painful for parents than if we endured the failure ourselves. And there is this issue to consider as parents: Are we preventing our kids’ failure for their good or to spare ourselves from the pain of watching them flounder?  

What do we want most for our kids?

The place we need to start is by defining success. What are we hoping for our kids? How are they designed by God, and what natural talents do they have? If you can answer these questions, then you can put success, failure, and learning from life experiences in perspective. We want our kids to feel the freedom to fail. This freedom creates a willingness to try new things, experience uncomfortable situations, and rise to new challenges.

Why is failure important?

In Romans, Paul talks about how life’s challenges can produce suffering, endurance, character, and hope, and that all four are connected. Enduring despite failure is key in developing strong character.

“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”—Romans 5:3-5

In this podcast episode, Dave and Nathan unpack why parents are resistant to allowing our kids to fail, why failure is important in kids’ lives, and how to help our kids boldly pursue opportunities and success.

This is when parenting is no fun . . . Learning when to back off, when to push forward, and how to step out of the way when you see the train wreck coming is no fun at all!

Additional Resources

Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Restby Edward T. Walsh, New Growth Press, 2007

Parenting Pathway – A Father’s Advice for Raising Achievers

Posted By

  • Dave Carl is the Family Ministries Pastor at Stonebriar Community Church and is responsible for the ministry focusing on children birth through high school graduation and the parents who love them. With a ministry philosophy based on Luke 10:27, his primary focus is to give parents the skills to raise kids who truly love Jesus and want to serve others. Dave has a passion for ministering to families in crisis in our community. He has spent several years pouring into fathers and husbands and helping them learn that they need community, were designed to guard and protect, and that they really can be the spiritual leaders of their family.

    Dave and his wife of 30 plus years, Cathy, have two adult children and one in high school and recently became grandparents for the first time. They are completely in love with this new member of their family. Dave is an avid woodworker and loves to write. He sees all stories in the form of pictures, and he would love to connect with you!

Posted by

Dave Carl is the Family Ministries Pastor at Stonebriar Community Church and is responsible for the ministry focusing on children birth through high school graduation and the parents who love them. With a ministry philosophy based on Luke 10:27, his primary focus is to give parents the skills to raise kids who truly love Jesus and want to serve others. Dave has a passion for ministering to families in crisis in our community. He has spent several years pouring into fathers and husbands and helping them learn that they need community, were designed to guard and protect, and that they really can be the spiritual leaders of their family.

Dave and his wife of 30 plus years, Cathy, have two adult children and one in high school and recently became grandparents for the first time. They are completely in love with this new member of their family. Dave is an avid woodworker and loves to write. He sees all stories in the form of pictures, and he would love to connect with you!

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