In the life of a parent, few moments can be as terrifying as a child undergoing a mental health crisis, and it’s been happening more and more these days. The ongoing stress, fear, and uncertainty created by COVID-19, and the resulting isolation, has led to increased depression and anxiety.
For some students, cutting or burning themselves is a dangerous way of coping when depression and anxiety lead to an avalanche of painful emotions. A student may feel so numb that they cut themselves in order to feel something. Or in other situations, the young person may feel the need to distract their mind away from their internal pain by causing themselves external pain. Sometimes, it’s a way to validate the pain that they can’t articulate.
There are some things parents can do ahead of time to reduce the risk factors that lead to self-harm.
- Encourage Resilience. Problem-solving skills and conflict resolution increase a young person’s confidence in their ability to overcome challenges. (1 Samuel 17:34-36)
- Reinforce a Sense of Purpose and Value. Each person is specifically designed by our loving Heavenly Father and born into the world for a reason. (Ephesians 2:10)
- Hope for the Future. Because of Christ’s death on the cross and resurrection, by faith in Jesus we too can look forward to a life of intimacy with God and the hope of eternal life. (John 3:16)
- Pray With Other Parents. God answers prayers. By joining with other parents, we find strength and acknowledge God’s authority over evil. (Ephesians 6:18)
Other Helpful Factors to Prevent Self-Harm Include:
- Positive home and school environment
- Healthy connections to family, friends, and the church
- Significant responsibilities at home and at church
What should you do if your child is already self-harming?
Even with all these measures in place, the fact is that depression can affect anyone. It can be brought on by circumstances, genetic factors, or a chemical imbalance. An organization known as the Hope Squad seeks to intervene when students are struggling with mental health issues. According to www.hopesquad.com, there are some ways parents can respond:
- Don’t be afraid to talk to your child. Ideally, parents and kids have already had an honest conversation in advance about what to do if they ever start to feel hopeless. But if you notice your son or daughter withdrawing from friends, withdrawing from once-enjoyed activities, or otherwise engaging in uncharacteristic behavior, talk to them about what you’re seeing. If you notice your son or daughter wearing long pants and long-sleeved shirts on hot days in an attempt to hide fresh scratches, cuts, or scars, ask them how they got there.
- Respond with compassion. If your son or daughter has been self-injuring, don’t discount their feelings or attempt to condemn their behavior. Let them know you want to understand and find help.
- Don’t delay; take action. Use church, school, and community resources. Through your school or through the church, you will find information about mental health professionals who can make a difference in your son or daughter’s life.
- Listen to their friends. Most likely, your son or daughter’s friends will be nervous about talking to you, but they might come to you with concerns. Let them know you’re thankful for them and they can always come to you if they are worried about the mental health of your son or daughter.
Sooner or later, all teenagers pass through their own battles with disappointment, sadness, or even despair. Growing up in our world is difficult and painful at times. When Jesus told His disciples He was going to be crucified, they were understandably shaken. Jesus said to them,
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33
By His grace, we too may lead our kids into the peace that can only come from Jesus.
Or listen to this Parenting Pathway Podcast series, Parenting Your Teen Struggling with Anxiety, which is a conversation between Family Ministries Pastor Dave Carl, Licensed Professional Counselor Jeri Marshall, and Licensed Processional Counselor Intern Erin Johnson.
