Talking with Your Kids About Racism

If you have been paying attention at all in the last few years, you are well aware of the racial tension in our country. But much like the “sex talk,” the “racism talk” can be equally or more painful to cover with our children. Talking with your kids about racism is the very first step in creating change in our society. And much like we do not want our kids to learn about sex from their peers or the internet, we do not want our kids to learn about racial injustice and prejudice from the same sources.

Before we dive off into a conversation that we are unprepared for, Parent Cue a blog and podcast for Christian parenting, suggests four critical first steps:

  1. Know our feelings. Before having honest conversations with our kids, we need to check our own heart and thoughts. This is the time to take a step back and identify how we might need to change our prejudices.
  2. Celebrate diversity in our community. Take a look at our circle of friends and our community. How diverse is it? Do we demonstrate respect and honor towards those that are different from us or have different beliefs than us?
  3. Talk about racism. Racism is often a subtle comment and prejudice, but sometimes it is outright hatred and violence. Our kids can face it on the playground at school or graphically depicted on the news of the day. Not talking about it does not make it go away. So make talking about it comfortable and common in our home. Don’t just save it for “the talk.”
  4. Focus on love. Kids feel safest in a world where they know they are cared for and loved. When the world outside our home seems chaotic and frightening, kids need to know we love them and God loves them.

Where do we start?

Theological circles refer to imago Deiwhich is the concept that ALL humans are created in God’s image. Think of it like a mirror image or a reflection. This means that everybody, regardless of our race or ethnicity, is created in the image of God.

That God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are, therefore, Christ’s ambassadors as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf to be reconciled to God.

2 Corinthians 5:18–20

We must start at the most basic understanding that God created all people in His image. Every person has equal value and worth, and diverse ethnicity are God’s creation.

Next is the understanding that we live in a fallen world, and we have all sinned. The racism and prejudices we carry in our hearts and minds are sins. We are all sinners, and in our sin, we say and do things to make us feel better and, in turn, make other people feel inferior.

It is interesting that many stories in the Bible deal with racism. Moses, a Jew, caused controversy with his marriage to a Cushite (African) woman in Numbers 12. There are also clashes in the New Testament between Jews and Gentiles, such as Peter’s embarrassment about eating with Gentiles in Galatians 2:11–14. Addressing the issues of racial difference and appreciation of the other person, while naming the sin of racism with our children from a young age, are crucial parenting choices for any Christian.

Talking with Your Kids

1. Start with scripture.

We can start with the most familiar verse of all.

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.”

John 3:16

When this verse refers to the world, it means everyone shows us that God’s offer of salvation is not limited to specific ethnic groups or racial backgrounds. God does not discriminate, and neither should we. We can also look at a beautiful example of reconciliation in Revelations 5:9 and 7:9, where first God is reconciling us to Himself, then reconciling us to one another. Heaven will be filled with people of all backgrounds. Isn’t that a celebration!

2. Meet your children where they are spiritually and developmentally.

Children at very young ages notice all kinds of differences. Some of their earliest games involve sorting, matching, and putting like with like. Children see racial differences as young as three and tend to ask questions such as, why is that person’s skin color different from mine? Does the color come off? This is an excellent time for conversations about how God makes all people different.

Elementary and tween-aged kids are becoming more aware of the world around them. They are more likely to have discussions about their experiences and their emotional response to world events. This stage opens opportunities for conversations of possible solutions and a chance to highlight positive examples of pursuing racial reconciliation.

Once they reach the teen years, kids can have a more philosophical discussion regarding racism and its meaning within their lives, beliefs, and perceptions. At this stage, do not be afraid to discuss some of the relevant details seen in the news. One additional recommendation is to make sure we understand what is happening in the news story before discussing it with our teens. If not, start with investigating the story together.

Remember that teaching is not a one-way conversation.

3. Move away from teaching children to be colorblind.

Have you ever said, “I don’t see color?” When we teach children to be colorblind to differences they see in the people around them, we are pushing against their normal development of noticing differences, sorting, and matching. In essence, we are teaching them there is something wrong with people who have different skin colors. Being colorblind is not acknowledging racial or cultural differences. As we discussed in the section above, colorblindness is not what we see reflected in Scripture. God created peoples of all tribes, tongues, and nations, and the Bible celebrates and recognizes this diversity (see Revelation 5:9; 7:9). Now is the time for conversations on issues of sameness and difference.

These suggestions are just the starting point. To make changes in society, we need to make changes in our home. And much like we have worked to move away from the “sex talk” and integrate it into everyday conversation, we need to do the same with the “racism talk.”

There is a lot to do to raise the next generation of Christ followers and we are praying for you every day.

Additional Resources

These are books for kids to help start the conversation:

  1. God’s Very Good Idea: a true story about God’s delightfully different family, by Trillia Newbell
  2. Color Full: Celebrating the Colors God Gave Us, by Dorena Williamson
  3. One Blood for Kids: What the Bible Says About Race, by Ken Ham
  4. The Colors of Us, by Karen Katz
Learn more about the history of this current blog topic on Parenting Pathway:

Draw Near in Troubling Times

Author

  • Christine Clark

    Christine Clark is the Ministry Leader for Family Ministries at Stonebriar Community Church. She has a passion for supporting parents and helping them gain confidence and tools to be spiritual leaders in their homes. She is blessed to be the mom of a one son and the wife of her college sweetheart for 25 years. She and her husband are finding their way as empty nesters, and enjoying the new found freedom that comes with this stage of life. She is also an avid sports fan who loves all things NASCAR and football, especially in the fall in Texas.

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