Stuff My Dad Said, Part 1

Lessons from My Dad

Special Note to Parents: After you read this, nodding your head in agreement, share it with your kids. This is a great place to start a conversation.

We are no longer a culture of tribes. I am sad about that. Not warring tribes, mind you, but small groups who depend on each other, teach each other, and have a culture of their own. I grew up in a bit of a tribe. My family seemed pretty tribal to me. We spent a lot of time together, we had tons of inside jokes, and we had rules that were unique to us. We worked a lot together (which I did not enjoy) but I also got a lot of one-on-one time with my mom and dad. I learned a ton of stuff that has become a part of who I am today.

Currently, we have a different kind of culture. Families don’t spend the same amount of time together, and as a consequence, good stuff is not getting passed down from mother to kid or dad to kid like it used to. The last thing I want to do is be presumptuous, but I have some thoughts that may be of help to you as a kid, preteen or teenager, young adult, young parent, older parent, and so on. Some I got from my dad, some from other men in my life (think tribe).

Imagine you and I are sitting on the shore of a quiet lake fishing, or around a campfire dodging the smoke, or sitting on the front porch rocking in a couple of wooden chairs that squeak just a bit when you rock. Can you imagine that? Good. Now join me for a small sampling of “Stuff My Dad Said”.

Starting your first new job

It’s time to start thinking about your first job, son.

Dad, I’m eight years old.”

Yeah. Sorry we didn’t start this sooner. When you start your first job, there are some things you need to keep in mind. Some teenagers are not mature enough to work hard, don’t want to do stuff they don’t like, and often quit without telling anyone they’ve quit. Don’t be one of those kids.”

Life Lessons for Working

  1. If someone is going to take a risk and hire you, you owe them. You work for them now. You are supposed to be an asset, not a new problem.
  2. You get paid to do your job. You get promoted for doing more than your job.
  3. Show up on time, every time. “On time” is ten minutes early.
  4. There is great dignity in working hard. Enjoy it.
  5. Leaving early, not doing your best, or otherwise being a lazy employee is not funny or clever. It is stealing. We never steal.
  6. Your next job will want a reference from your last job. NEVER leave a job badly if you can help it. When you quit, tell them verbally and in writing. Give two weeks’ notice. Work your tail off in those last two weeks. Make them sad to see you go.
  7. You WILL have a bad and unfair boss. You are supposed to have at least one bad boss. It’s part of your training for life. When you are treated unfairly, determine to never do that when you are in charge one day. Never do anything mean, hurtful, or otherwise unethical. If your boss tells you/orders you do something wrong, respectfully decline and begin your new job search.
  8. Never quit your job until you have another job lined up if possible. It is much easier to get a job while you still have a job.
  9. Your new job will not promote you soon. You are not good enough yet. You don’t know more than your boss, and they really don’t want you to be super smart and fix the way they do things. They are not trying to make you feel good or safe or particularly valuable. They hired you to do the stuff they need done. Work hard, do your job well, and maybe in two years, someone might ask you your opinion on something. Until then, be the guy that is fun to work with and just do your job quietly.
  10. Your first paycheck will be a bitter disappointment. Steady yourself. They take out taxes and Social Security and a bunch of stuff that makes no sense. It’s just the way it is. Don’t get upset. This is the best country in the world to work in. Be grateful for what you get.
  11. If you get put into a role of leadership, be grateful they are willing to take another risk on you. You owe them for this. You are a leader now, and good leaders take care of their people. Bad leaders use their authority to be a big shot. Don’t ever be a big shot.

If you have any questions about any of these things, just go ask someone in your tribe of believers. If you do not have a tribe—well then let’s take care of that right away. We have youth workers, pastors, and church staff who are all ready to step up. These connections, however, cannot be made unless you bring your kid to us or show up yourself—at church. Wednesday nights are great for this, and Sundays are good too. We have group events that are fantastic for this kind of connecting. If you are a mom—boy, do I have some women you want to know… There are women here at Stonebriar who are just waiting to sit and share stories and pray with you and grow with you. It is beautiful to see. You do not have to be alone.

If you are a man who is in need of a tribe (we all are), I have some guys you really want to know. Please contact me, and I can guide you through this. It’s a little uncomfortable at first, but there are lifelong friends waiting for you to meet them for the first time. Let’s raise our kids together. Let’s work on our marriages together. Let’s do life together. Let’s pursue Jesus together. Things are about to get really good…

For additional lessons for fathers, consider reading:

To All The Dads

The Lessons My Dad Taught Me

Author

  • Dave Carl

    Dave Carl is the Family Ministries Pastor at Stonebriar Community Church and is responsible for the ministry focusing on children birth through high school graduation and the parents who love them. With a ministry philosophy based on Luke 10:27, his primary focus is to give parents the skills to raise kids who truly love Jesus and want to serve others. Dave has a passion for ministering to families in crisis in our community. He has spent several years pouring into fathers and husbands and helping them learn that they need community, were designed to guard and protect, and that they really can be the spiritual leaders of their family.

    Dave and his wife of 30 plus years, Cathy, have two adult children and one in college and grandparents to three amazing children. They are completely in love with these new member of their family. Dave is an avid woodworker and loves to write. He sees all stories in the form of pictures, and he would love to connect with you!

Scroll to top